Sunday, July 31, 2011

Part 2: The 1 Year Anniversary

It's been an entire year since the death of Wiz Khalifa. The moment he put ink to paper was the moment he signed his sorry soul away, leaving himself as just another one in the long line of fake-ass afterthoughts.

A few months ago we wrote Wiz an obituary on the eve of his debut Industry effort, Rolling Papers. Writing this now, I can say his effort far exceeded my expectations of a flop. Not only did he manage to produce a steaming turd of an effort, he managed to find the drive to coat it in an extra layer of turd varnish in the form of synths.

Shitty music aside, there was the little glimmer of hope that this was just a slight blemish, and the Wiz of old would shine through after his obligatory Industry effort. The reason we here at Stash Box took Wiz's death at heart was because he never always used to be a soft ass bitch. There was a time where we used to like Wiz and his music. Whatever expectations I was clinging on to, however, have been dashed, BIG TIME. Not only did Wiz decide to start spitting some weak-ass rhymes, he broke his own principles and decided to submit to the clutches of a bonafide trick-ass bitch.

Who exactly is this triflin ass bitch??

Enter none other than Amber Rose: the woman famous for being Kanye West's former cockpocket. Wiz fell for a bitch who is only interested in hogging his spotlight.

While Amber Rose may have a thick ass and may be a top-notch nasty bitch, it still doesn't excuse the fact that Wiz is pullin some bitch made shit like:
- being straight up soft on Twitter, exchanging cute love tweets
- getting her name tattooed on his finger
- saying she will be "the last girl I’m ever gonna be with".

Wiz Khalifa is a straight up phony. After claiming that he doesn't care about them hoes in countless songs, his true colours show and he ends up falling for the biggest hoe of them all, showing us that he's been frontin the ENTIRE time. This woman ONLY wants the fame, evidenced through her latest "leaked" pics fiasco. Uncle Luke, the godfather of 'not carin about no hoe', sums it up best: "[Wiz Khalifa] can't spot a triflin' woman in the room to save [his life]." Just like all his counterparts in mainstream hip-hop today, Wiz Khalifa has developed into one weak-ass sing-song soft motherfucker.

....aaand to cap it all off, here's footage of Wiz Khalifa being a straight up bitch:

Remember kids, you can't turn a hoe into a housewife...


Sunday, June 26, 2011

Tupac back?

A little over 10 days ago the hip-hop world celebrated (what would have been) Tupac Shakur's 40th birthday on June 16. We here at Stash Box have mad love for Tupac, one of the best in the game, dead or alive. In addition, Pac was one of the realest and baddest motherfuckers to have ever lived.

While the internet media boomed with a bunch of Pac related content consisting of tributes and other rappers recalling memories of Pac, one thing that came out during the period was a new single by Rick Ross and Meek Mill entitled 'Tupac Back'. According to Rick Ross, the record was conceived as a tribute to Pac and his impact on the game. As Rick Ross puts it they were "paying homage to Tupac". Let's have a listen to this homage...

Bringing Tupac back? This track is steaming pile of shit: the same brand of ignant, generic shit on a whack beat being produced these days. Apart from the referencing of several song TITLES (not lyrics) and his name, this track ain't got shit to do with Pac's legacy. Trust Rick Ross (one of the phoniest, fake-ass motherfuckers in the game) and his cronie Meek Mill (who is Meek Mill anyway?) to be making money off Tupac's name through this whack ass song about themselves. Who expected Rick Ross (a.k.a Officer Ricky) to pay proper homage to Tupac in the first place? Is Officer Ricky really making an homage to Pac when he's saying shit like "Brenda's having my baby"? Isn't Brenda's Got a Baby about a 12 year old girl who fell victim to the fucked up shit (underage pregnancy via incest) that happens in the ghetto? Rick Ross don't know shit about shit.

Pac wasn't about that bullshit, he never spit about Mercedes Benzs and brand new rims. There's some words of Pac that I will never forget. This footage is from an interview done in 1994, while Pac was in prison...

What I want people to know is that don't.... don't support the phonies, support the real youknowwhatimean? How can these people be talking about how they so real but they don't care about our communities? How can they be talking about how they all this y'know the hood bahblahblahblahblah they don't care about our communities. Listen to the words people say in they lyrics and tell me, if that's some real shi- if that's real to you? yknowwhatimean? Listen to what they sayin. Dont just bop your head to the beat, peep the game, and listen to what I'm sayin, hold us accountable for it nahmean?
Listen to what people say, watch people. Cuz you can fake for a long time, but one day you gon show yourself to be a phony yknowwhatimean? And that's what alot of people are doin these days.

17 years later, Pac's name ends up getting spit all over the same shit he was telling you to watch out for? Also, Officer Ricky is a prime example of someone who got outed as a phony. Tupac Back = a steaming pile of shit on his legacy.

The good people here at Stash Box are going to pay homage to Tupac's legacy by bringing some of that REAL Tupac vibe back: We are declaring war on these same bitch-made phonies.

To all the fake ass bitches like Meek Mill and Rick Ross, this is what 2Pac is saying from thugz mansion...

Watch out for part 2 of this multiple part expose on fake-ass rappers in the game.....


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Honeybeats EP

While we all up on this phony business, it's time for a fresh breath of the real. Today our boy Kaligraph E has just dropped his first official release: a little 6 track EP full of delicious gems entitled 'Honeybeats EP'. Like a pack of candy snakes, each track carries a small punch of sweetness per dose.

Click the album cover below to cop a dose of that honey.

Thursday, June 16, 2011


Peep this, even though Killah Priest spit this in '97 it still applies just as much today. Theres too many phony MC's out there this year, and they better get ready....

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

3 months later...

It's been a while since we put an update, but expect a few new gems in the not too distant future.

It's been 3 months since I made the post about Libya, 3 months since NATO undertook their operation.

So what's been happening since they started?
- Bombing civilians? Check
- Killing of civilians? Check
- Daily bombings? Check
- Bombing neutral buildings including universities? Check
- Using high grade and possibly experimental weaponry (depleted uranium)? Check

Instead of giving a measure of what's real, the disinformation game is taking place, drawing away from the real issue of kids being blown up by discrediting the "lies" coming out of Libya and dismissing the fact that people are being blown up altogether.

When Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama start speaking on behalf of "the world" but India, China and Russia want nothing to do with this, who do Hilary and Obama speak for?

And when Lupe Fiasco starts calling Obama the biggest terrorist, you know shit just got real.

Dirty games are taking place.

You better start recognising folks.


p.s. Keep eating that dick, punk. Looking forward to more comments.
p.p.s. LeBron, you a bitch.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Golden Standards

Alright folks, I know it’s been a long while since there was an update, and I for one, blame my ridiculous uni schedule and stacking up of bullshit group assignments. Also I’ve been super lazy, but today came an article that finally stirred me from my slumber. Two police shootings in Melbourne in 2 days…no thanks. Osama Bin Laden killed? Pass. Nope, this one is about Australian television’s night of nights; the TV Week Logie awards.

Now for those loyal international readers (ones we haven’t already lost due to sporadic updating), I’ll break it down for you. Americans: think Daytime Emmys, but downgraded by about 10 times. Worse shows, worse actors, much lower production values and just grade-A bullshit. Everyone else: it’s a shitty award show where people who consistently give terrible performances on television are rewarded for their shittiness. It’s kind of like if there was an award show where the only candidates are Andy Dick.

Anyhow, here is today’s reading material, hot off the press from the ever illustrious .

 Ahhh the coveted gold Logie; the award everyone on Australian television lusts after for some unknown reason. The damn thing is ugly as hell.

Karl, his wife and the gold Logie.

 The winner of the gold Logie for 2011 is one Karl Stefanovic, television host and disaster report go-to-guy for channel Nine in 2011. Hilariously made a fool of himself in a previous Logies award ceremony by getting smashed and doing drunk-guy shit on camera.

“Thanking his wife Cas, he said: "She has been a great influence on my life and has also got the best arse I have ever seen."

Enter: contemporary feminism. Now if you have done your reading, you will know that this article is mostly about shit that happened at the Logies that night. However part of this article is devoted to Karl’s acceptance speech, where he apparently made and ass of himself.
The above quote is the line in question where people have ridiculously dubbed Stefanovic a sexist, or at the very least, labeled the comment sexist. Let’s take a step back and examine this line for a bit. Karl Stefanovic has done his fair share of reporting this year, the various and numerous natural disasters, the royal wedding, all that jazz. He comes home to be at this award ceremony and wins the most illustrious Logie of them all. In his acceptance speech he credits his wife (read it people: WIFE) for having been a great influence on his life, and also for having “the best arse [he] has ever seen”.    
Now, children, can anybody tell me what is so sexist about this comment? The man is obviously elated from having beat out all the other chumps for the most-valuable-chump award. In his acceptance speech, the man compliments his WIFE - not his girlfriend or mistress, but the woman he’s married and has children with – for being a great influence on him and also for having a nice arse. SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT WENT WRONG HERE.
In 2011, countless articles have been written about how women are not appreciated or valued enough by men, not given the credence they deserve and downright trodden on by us chauvinist pigs (there are some on this very blog), and this guy compliments his wife’s ass and is immediately labeled a sexist? Is there even a slight possibility of men NOT being labeled sexist short of first being spayed? I can’t recite my fucking ABC’s without being labeled a fucking sexist.

Now I know some of you might be thinking this is the end, and oh how I wish it was, but if you’ve ever read any of my shit on Stashbox, you’ll know that it’s never over with these stupid femcunts.

Most of the article is useless babble about other stuff that happened at the Logies, but right near the end comes the kicker:

“But picking up her best new talent award, The Circle host Chrissie Swan showed why the audience loves her.
Looking at ageing classical musician Andre Rieu, she said: " I tell you what Andre, if I was 30 years older!"
Six months pregnant, Swan said: "I'm a hormone with a hairdo" and spoke of how she shares the couch on The Circle with a group of women who share their tears and "we talk about boobies and whatever".
"See if you can throw that piece of cake into my mouth"

I tell you what Andre, if I was 30 years older. And maybe 100 kilos lighter… But seriously now, this woman who hosts a morning panel show (a panel made up of women, hint hint) has basically propositioned (you know how I mean) a distinguished musician, and "the audience loves her". ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?? Not only is the generously named “best new talent award” a fucking farce (as well as the whole ceremony itself), but she has gotten on stage and made a sex gag in front of hundreds of thousands and it’s all good? FUCK THAT.

 For those of you who don't get the point yet, I'll put it in layman's terms:
 ‘I love and appreciate my wife’s influence and physical body’ – SEXIST
‘I’m a massively fat land whale and I would have sex with you, Andre Rieu, if only I was EVEN OLDER THAN I ALREADY AM’ – HILARIOUS
Take into account that Andre Rieu is an established and highly acclaimed classical musician who makes millions of dollars and is considered a pretty funny guy, and this fat bitch becomes more and more offensive as the seconds pass.

You think this:
She isn't even pregnant here. No I'm not kidding

Has a legit case to get with this????
See that shit behind him? That's a goddamn ORCHESTRA. You couldn't even get a chair behind Swan.

Not only does this quote offend me, but my eyes have been assaulted with the visual of this queen-of-dugongs while she is fully clothed, let alone doing the nasty with an old man. “Where is the justice?” I hear you asking. I’ll tell you where; in Johanna Griggs’ control:

“Seven's Johanna Griggs, accepting a Logie for Better Homes and Gardens, took him to task on it, and the room was with her. "Karl, we don't have bum and boobs jokes; it's just nice family viewing," she said.

She later told The Australian that the ceremony "didn't have to be like that . . . I was just saying, 'C'mon, guys, it's a really smart room just lift it a little bit'".

No kidding people. Family viewing apparently does not include the appreciation of a man’s wife, however it does include a vision of obesity (won’t somebody think of the children?) propositioning a distinguished man in front of hundreds of thousands. We don’t have bum and boobs jokes hey Johanna? Well your good friend Jabba the Hut begs to differ, “we talk about boobies and whatever”.

And I ask again: WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?

Enjoy being free while you can, boys, because with the way this bullshit is seeping into peoples’ minds, being a man will soon be a crime punishable by death…or maybe they’ll just make you get with Chrissie Swan. 


Monday, March 28, 2011

Obituaries: Wiz Khalifa

CAMERON Jabril Thomaz was born in Minot, North Dakota to a mother and a father serving in the military. Due to his parents’ service, Thomaz spent time in Germany, England and Japan before finally landing in Pittsburgh to attend Taylor Allderdice High School.

A rapper to some, a star to himself, when he was 16, had all the intentions to keep it G. Notorious for taking niggas hoes to smoke hella trees wit em, the young boy fresh was known for rollin blunts of 50s, stuck in his moms basement, havin dro for sale, however niggas was smokin haze then. His stage name ‘Wiz Khalifa’ derived from people saying that he was wise beyond his years, with ‘Khalifa’ meaning successor, Cameron always had a sunny disposition and would never turn down a shot of Tanqueray. From champagne pouring to paper plane twistin, he was never lacking in confidence. Always critical of those speculating that his plane would land, he failed to see that his landing was part of his own doing...

Enjoying growing success as his work progressed over the years, Khalifa’s movement, the ‘Taylor Gang’ was his most positive creation, but later on he would find it was also his most heinous. The ‘Taylors’, growing in numbers, were forever singing his praise, and rightly so. After all, the Kid Frankie inked his whole body and you know what? He never gave a motherfuck.

However it is yet more ‘Taylor Gang’ members who would see to his end. After signing to Atlantic Records in 2010, the Flight School graduate (with honours) had his soul taken from him. Forced to do collaboration after collaboration with ‘Stargate Productions’, they took the young boy’s heart and destroyed it, forever relegating him to the hallowed halls of post-fame. As such, the new-school ‘Taylors’ support him no matter how many unnecessarily poppy, over-synthesised and shitty tracks he puts out now, claiming they had always been there from the beginning. Now these lames fucks wit them blunts full of schwag and rep 'Taylor' as if they mean it. Wiz has had his image defaced by these new ‘Taylors’, having his face used as display pictures on facebook in celebration of the music industry’s latest sacrifice to the lord Baphomet, rather than to mourn the death of such a G.

Once so true to his roots as the Taylor Gang General, the Prince of the City turned dark horse for Los Angeles one day woke up, looked in the mirror and had to shoot the first thing he saw...

A truly sad day for all involved, on the eve of his first album dropping from Atlantic Records, we are gathered here today to mourn the death of Wiz Khalifa. To the ages, we commend your memory, from the jets to the paper planes, still blazin still blazin still blazin...

A tribute to when Wiz was still with us:

Helyetica & dlx.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Dating advice? On a blog?? WE COULD RULE THE WORLD!

Come one come all! To the first instalment of Helyetica’s very own dating advice column! You read right folks, I am starting my own dating advice column. Why you ask? Well the answer is simple really; being as I browse these jokes of websites run and owned by major Melbourne newspapers, I am subjected to the horrible excuse that passes for dating advice in this day and age.
Make no mistake, I hate dating advice writers as much as any person with an IQ higher than single digits, they are a blight on today’s society and somehow dictate the rules of ‘the dating game’. Upon viewing today’s reading material, this humble (read: opinionated) young man has had enough of this bullshit. Stash Box's very own ‘dating advice column’ is dedicated to the drawing and quartering of modern dating advice funneled down our throats by the fucking idiots at and (the Herald Sun website) who seem to think that modern society doesn’t have enough ills bringing it down already.  

So let’s get down to the brass tacks shall we? Today’s contestant is a surprisingly attractive dating columnist who goes by the name of Samantha Brett. She is the resident dating ‘expert’ at The one whom the editors have deemed fit to tell mostly clueless, horny, middle aged women (and a bunch of beta bitch boys) how to hook up with the opposite sex, as well as give her two slutty cents about anything else to do with sex, relationships and life as a woman in general. Sounds like a real riot right? Read some of her stuff and you’ll see exactly what I mean.
The notes for today are not about dating per se, but rather the ‘empowerment’ of women in modern society. As always, read your notes kids!

The title of the article will already give you some insight as to what will be discussed in the article, namely ‘loose girls’, or, what the good people here at Stash Box like to refer to as ‘sluts’.

“The other day I heard an interesting interview on the radio with a woman who described herself as having spent her youth "hopping from one man's bed to another"

The beginning of this article serves not only to introduce the issue of women behaving like whores, but also to give us an insight into modern media. This is the kind of tripe that pollutes the air waves when you aren’t being ear-raped by the very latest bullshit track from unapologetically slutty chicks like Ke$ha or Rihanna. How does that make you feel people? What’s that? I can’t hear you over the brain dead moaning coming from your motionless body. Listen to too much radio and this is what will really happen to you, heed the warning children.

“Of course, any woman who has casual sex with a man she's not in a relationship with will know all too well that, on the night, while she might feel closer to the dude she's bonking (physically, emotionally, even spiritually!), the next morning when the booze has worn off, the pheromones have died down and she's no longer looking as hot as she did the night before, he's (most of the time) no longer that into her.”

Where do I start? Sam suggests that any woman who sluts it out with a man WILL know that the morning after the dude will not be so interested. “No longer looking as hot as she did before” can be interpreted as code for: when she looks like Courtney Love, has cockbreath (like Courtney Love) and sounds more like a man than the dude she just bumped uglies with (Hole anyone?). Readers, how do you think you would feel either being greeted by this image, or heaven forbid, EMBODYING this image? It’s not rocket science folks, really now.

 "Don't be scurred girl. OWN that sexuality. WORK those oral herpes"

Hilarious yet filthy images aside, this poses two problems. Firstly, if these women truly know this, as the author states, what does this say about modern women? Does this sound like empowering knowledge for a woman to you? Secondly, if they don’t actually know this, as I think a lot of modern women don’t, then what the hell must be going through her mind?

This leads me to my next talking point; alcohol. “The next morning when the booze has worn off”, writes Sam, giving another unintended, yet startling insight into modern Western culture. This is the world we live in, children. A world where it is automatically assumed that any sort of late night romp you have must be fueled by alcohol. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the accuracy of this claim. Having been a leading proponent of this kind of behaviour myself, I am inclined to weep, WEEP FOR WHAT WE HAVE LOST.
Many today wonder what has happened to the youth of today and indeed, the adults too, where alcohol is blamed for so much of society’s ills. This is your culture people, this is so deeply ingrained into everyday life that people are starting to see past alcohol as a problem in itself, and look for other reasons why people are so fucked up and stupid these days. The passing, off-the-cuff manner in which booze is mentioned her only solidifies my point.    

“…while women are entitled to the same physical pleasures as men, society still frowns upon a gal who owns her own sexuality, has sex like a man would and forgets to call him the following day, if ever again. And therein lie the double standards.”

Dear ol’ Yeti, why must you always disagree with the professionals?
Yes, you may think that you are entitled to the same physical pleasures as men, but one look at any one point in history will dash your ridiculous hopes and dreams of being the town bike. Sad, I know, but there is hope for you yet, young sluttawan, if only you BELIEVE in your abilities as a whore.
The sad fact for all you hoes out there is that there is no double standard at work, this is just some more shit that is being fed to you by new age femenists that believe men are useless and demand more than equal rights. Read the fucking links and you will see why.

“CHAUVENIST PIG!” I hear you all yelling, well to you I say; shut the fuck up and listen. There is no double standard because women are sexually worth more than men. It is a basic instinct for me(n) to want to go out and fuck as many females as possible, it’s fucking science people. Women, however, must weigh up all the options before finally settling on a mate, because as we all know, it takes me(n) one night to achieve this goal, sometimes more than once (ask about me), but women will bear the effects for 9 months. 
 In terms of society frowning upon sluts, you reap what you sow. You have built this society yourselves, you girls who call other girls sluts have created your own barriers against having the cake and eating it too. You can’t have it both ways ladies. Your Western institution of marriage is a stuffy old concept which has borne the hellspawn that is known as modern divorce law.

If any of you have ever watched ‘Two and a Half Men”, you will be familiar with the character of ‘Alan’, the resident beta bitch boy. He is subject to divorce law which forces him to pay alimony to his colder-than-a-witch-tit harpy of an ex-wife, Judith. If you care to pay enough attention, you will realise that this law creates the premise of the entire show. Alan is legally kicked out of the house that he bought with his own money by his wife, and this forces him to live with his brother Charlie. Without this ridiculous law - which forces Alan to work his ass off every day to make enough money to give to Judith so that she can live without having to work or pay for anything - the show would not exist. Keep in mind that before Charlie Sheen decided to go on a winning spree, this was the most popular show in the US by far.

YOU HAVE DONE THIS TO YOURSELVES. By letting this bullshit happen, you have effectively branded yourselves sluts, because without divorce and the accompanying laws, the concept of marriage might still be pure. This might force people to actually consider what they are getting into through critical thinking, and not just spur of the moment marriages because you fucked one time and he bought you dinner. Vegas anyone?

Too bad this uni student has homework and has to postpone the rest of this article for another time.

Until then,

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

No Fly Zone

Awww, 110 Tomahawk missiles isnt what you pinkos expected? Good work getting sucked in to the media mindfuck.

Prior to the bombing of Libya, many left-wing student groups (groups filled with people that don't have showers or proper jobs, but manage to find justification of their useless lifestyles through an assembly of intellectual circlejerking while also talking hours on end about shit they don't know about, demonstating to the world about how much they care about people in non-Western world countries and holding the belief that YOU are somehow evil now for not doing these things) were very vocal in their support of the end of the Gaddafi regime via the efforts of the various militant rebel groups. Their reasoning? "Gaddafi is massacring countless innocent civilians who just want some democracy in their country!!! He has to be stopped! OMG! Democracy = GOOD." (paraphrased from one of them whiny bitches with a megaphone on Swanston St). As future events demonstrated, not only did this bitch NOT know what she was truly talking about, almost all of them are as painfully ignorant and stupid as the other.

Here was my personal run in with one of these people. While browsing the news feed on Facebook last week, I discovered the following post:

As seen above, this guy (we'll refer to him as 'Left Wing Pinko') decided to share a link of a topical news piece regarding Libya, coupled with his brief commentary. Usually, a little dip of the toes in to geopolitical discussion never really hurts anyone. Some of the time, these kinds of posts result in a few likes and a couple of comments that go with the accord from people who don't really know what they're talking about. The rest of the time, nobody gives a fuck.

As you may or may not have noticed, LWP here made the reprehensible mistake of adding his extra two cents in saying "I thought lessons may have been learnt from Rwanda, Darfur and Srebrenica but apparently not." For those who are unaware, Rwanda, Darfur and Srebrenica are references to historic cases of civil unrest. Rwanda is a reference to the 1994 Rwandan Genocide where around 800,000 people were massacred in a 2 month time period. Darfur is a reference to the ongoing conflict between rival ethnic militia in Sudan. Srebrenica is a reference to the massacre of 8000 Bosnians by Serb paramilitary in 1995. Google that shit. The common thread in all these conflicts is that they were/are the culmination of historic and deep-seeded racial/ethnic tensions.

So anyway, straight to the point, what do these events have to do with Libya and what lessons were learned in the first place? The answer?? The lessons learnt have NOTHING to do with what is happening in Libya. The good people here at Stash Box don't tolerate blatant abuse of dead people's legacies and due to LWP's gross misappropriation of these events, I decided to prod to see what he really stood for...

How cute. LWP believes innocent people are being killed, dictators are murderous nutcases and democracy is a model for all to follow. A textbook case of your average left-wing pinko idealist The Age reader right here. Not only has he openly admitted to not knowing what he's talking about, (sadly) he's already established his viewpoint. I decided to go deeper....

I thought it was a good idea to engage in some throughful discussion on the matter. There are many things that the western media has failed to report or inaccurately portrayed about Libya. Before the chaos erupted, Libya had a lower incarceration rate than the Czech republic. It ranked 61st. Libya had the highest life expectancy of all of Africa. Less than 5% of the population was undernourished. In response to the rising food prices around the world, the government of Libya abolished ALL taxes on food. The people in Libya are also rich. Libya had the highest gross domestic product (GDP) at purchasing power parity (PPP) per capita of all of Africa. Unlike other oil rich nations, Libya distributes its wealth to the people. However like any country, Libya suffers from a government with corrupt bureaucrats that try to gain a bigger portion of the pie at the cost of everyone else. Back in 2009, as response to this, Gaddafi called for the oil revenue to be distributed directly to the people, because in his opinion, the government was failing the people.

Wait a minute, is there something wrong with this picture? I thought Gaddafi was supposed to be a "murderous nutcase"???? Sadly (and predictably), I was a fool for trying to engage in thoughtful and researched discussion because LWP and people like him are incapable of engaging in intelligent discussion and never do their research. Cue the next comment.....

Whoaaaa. Slow down there cowboy. To save all of you the labourious task of reading through this bullshit, I'll break it down for you. First of all, LWP refers to the anti-Gaddafi forces as "just freedom fighters pleading for help". Freedom fighters?? Lets get some facts right.

A week before the unrest began, it was the London based National Conference of Libyan Opposition (NCLO) that called for the February 17th "Day of Rage," not Libyans in the streets of Tripoli or Benghazi. The NCLO itself was created in London in 2005 by Ibrahim Sahad and his National Front for the Salvation of Libya (NFSL), which in turn has been one of the leading Libyan opposition groups since the 1980's. The Daily Globe and Mail has reported that Sahad's NFSL had been behind several attempted armed uprisings and assassination attempts against Gaddafi in the 1980's, while records found in the US Library of Congress indicate Sahad's NFSL had CIA support and training.

So anyway, we now have some evidence that suggests the uprising is funded externally by the West. Is Gaddafi "unleashing a brutal military crackdown on (his) people"? Or is he fighting a subversive invasion of the forces of US imperialism?? I won't suggest that any conspiracy is going on, nor am I voicing my support for any dictators but this entire time, Gaddafi has been claiming the West are after his oil. Makes you ponder right? 4 days after this wall post and comments were made, the no fly zone was imposed and US & UK forces bombed the fuck out of Libya, with more people being blown to bits as the days go on. The perfect solution to a "brutal military crackdown"? I thought this was "different to Iraq"? I'll let you decide as this thing is still panning out.

Anyway, back to the LWPs. It's clear that this LWP is buying in to the crocodile tears and glamourisation of "freedom fighters", taking an emotional argument and choosing to resort to the oppression cop out rather than contesting the facts. The glamourisation of freedom fighters is manifested by the fact that LWP and people just like him all own Che Guevara t-shirts and bust their nuts when the phrases "freedom fighter", "revolution" and "democracy" are mentioned somewhere. Guess what left-wing pinkos? If a real revolution were happening, you would be the first to retreat into a fetal state. And once again, LWP decided to misappropriate the memories of the victims in Rwanda, Darfur and Srebrenica. Some nerve he got there.....

I could post more of the comments, but that would lead me to the same conclusions. So to all the left-wing pinkos out there, none of you know what the fuck you are talking about. Do your research or please shut the fuck up. I did mine. Oh wait, you happen to be a university student? Hold on a minute, false alarm. Turns out you're an Arts student, majoring in politics. Get that shit outta here. If you're a left-wing pinko and you feel offended, I'll leave you with this:

Until next time,


This article from the Washington Post gives a little insight as to how the people of Libya really feel and what Gaddafi's role really is.

The lesser of two evils

It seems you can't get away with anything involving women these days without at least ONE femenist (see: stupid) group crying foul. Aaaaaand here comes today's contestant! 'Collective Shout' is a group of aging, ugly, frumpy women (see: harpies), most likely single or at the very least married to a small, ridiculously betafied boy whose testicles have long been confiscated and locked away, never to be seen again. What use could you possibly have for them anyway? Not like you'll be getting any kiddo, not unless you like the sound of your woman screaming "RAPE" while you're objectifying her on your honeymoon. You monster.

For your consideration, please find enclosed; violence against women in its purest form.
You know how we roll here children, read your notes!

So if you live in Australia and watch television, chances are you've seen those Rivers ads, but for our esteemed international readers, I'll break it down for you.

Rivers is a run of the mill clothing brand who have recently started having massive sales on their shitty merchandise. As you can see from the 1 minute video above, their advertising team is worth about as much as one unit of the clothing itself, so you can imagine how infuriating it would be to see this shit spruiked all over TV when you're trying to watch teenage sluts lie about getting knocked up by pro athletes (more on that another time).

BACK TO THE TOPIC, J. Cole style (look it up). So Rivers has catalogues as well as these terrible TV ads, and in a recent one, a leggy model presumably dead is featured in the background of a page selling yet more shitty merch. Enter the new age femcunt. Some group called 'Collective Shout' have brought up yet another ridiculously inane issue with something involving women and have turned it into something that is apparently newsworthy.

"Rivers has been excelling in the objectification of women for some time now,"

If you read the article like you should have, you will notice that not even one example of this excellent objectification of women is provided. Whether this is just bad writing on the author's part (which I don't doubt, considering it's the Age) or just another sweeping generalisation (see: everyday femenist talk) is hard to say. However, if you google Melinda Tankard Reist (the woman quoted above), you will get images of a frumpy old woman who never wears makeup, presumably because it also objectifies women, who is constantly standing at a podium.
This, people, is your new face of femenism. Forget Germaine Greer, that old hag is just too old school for these new school hoes. What's this shit about equality Ms. Greer? It's about causing a fuss for no reason now, you're too old, you wouldn't understand, go burn some more bras while we talk about how this ad forced dear old 'Yetica to rape the nearest female (DISCLAIMER: No one was raped during the making of this blog post).

 "Violence against women is a common marketing tactic in videos such as Kanye West's Monster, says Ms Reist, but she finds the Rivers catalogue particularly disturbing "because it's so mainstream."

Ummmmmmm what? Again, that's right folks, this woman who claims to be a "social commentator with a particular interest in women's issues and bioethics" (quote taken from her self titled website) is so out of touch with pop culture (read: society) that she is really under the impression that Rivers > Kanye West.
Yes, pop culture does not always translate to the entirety of society, but spend one day in Melbourne and you'll see what I mean. This woman who is preaching to young girls every day telling them to empower themselves against the chauvenistic shackles instituted by the evil gender of males has literally said that Rivers is too mainstream, in the same sentence as she has mentioned Kanye West. It should also be noted that neither I, nor any of my friends from Melbourne have received this catalogue. We have all, however, heard of how Kanye dated Amber Rose, a bald headed stripper. There are at least 20 Rivers stores or outlets in Melbourne and the greater Melbourne area.

Luckily it seems there is a thin ray of hope at the end of the tunnel, "Three previous complaints about Rivers advertising lodged by Collective Shout have been dismissed by the Advertising Standards Board". Life doesn't seem THAT bad anymore right? Well, just as quickly as the ray of light is seen, it is snuffed out with emphasis, "Part of the reason this kind of violent imagery is popular is because it attracts attention, but in this case I think it's safe to say it's the wrong kind of attention", said femenist writer Rachel Hills.
Yup, when I saw those legs, the first thing I thought was, "you know what? I could realllllly go for some good ol' violence against women today!" (DISCLAIMER #2: I actually thought "why doesn't rivers actually sell shoes like the ones featured on these legs?").
It is also interesting to note that upon googling "femenist writer Rachel Hills" I was greeted with this man faced, frumpy, non-made up PILLAR OF VIRTUE AGAINST MEN. Am I the only one noticing a theme here . . . ?

As if all of that femenist bullshit isn't enough, here is the kicker, "The group is also urging women to boycott the company's stores."
These painfully single women are SO out of touch that they feel the need to urge women to boycott this retailer. It is this blogger's humble opinion that if you really need to be urged to boycott this hole of an outlet, you should have long before been dragged out behind the wood shed for a good old fashioned ass whooping.

Still though, it is hard to determine which is the lesser of two evils here. I say that Rivers has a predetermined lifespan, stupidity, however, does not. It has stood the test of time and only stands to spawn yet more stupidity, this time, in the form of 'femenism'. For the first time this red blooded male actually feels bad for the true femenists out there.

...but those feelings of sympathy are soon overwhelmed by my innate, basic male instinct to harm females, AM I RIGHT MEN? (DISCLAI- ahhh fuck it)


Sunday, March 20, 2011

The first real post! (It's long)

Upon writing and viewing a long-winded and ultimately useless introduction, I've decided to bypass that and just give it to you straight up.

Today's topic of discussion:

A woman asking the lifestyle section of the Age newspaper - which is occupied by only the most intelligent and the most experienced people who can answer any and all questions one might have about the eternal mystery that is life (see: middle aged, more or less single women) – if she is a bad wife. The premise? Her husband of some 18 years apparently lashes out at his wife every now and then when he is unhappy with his home renovation projects. The problem? You guessed it, SEXXX. This woman doesn’t wanna get down with her husband after he yells at her, but complies anyway. Eventually she tells him how she feels, enter: bad wife.
She don’t wanna fuck, he does, she feels wronged by his outbursts, he feels she isn’t honouring the marriage.

Now since there isn’t a whole lot of information, forgive me for making a few assumptions, but this has barely to do with the question, but rather the reply or ‘advice’ given. Just like with school, it's always best to do your readings kiddies, so read the article first, if you want to understand this post anyways.

Right out of the gates, the first thing this ‘sex educator’ Maureen Matthews talks about is other cultures and their predisposition to viewing wives as property. I think we’ve all seen, read or heard about this kind of thing, it used to be called REAL LIFE. Ever do ANY HISTORY EVER? Then you’ve probably read about the phenomenon of the man being the provider and the woman being a home maker. In recent years though, it’s been relegated to the ranks of savage, barbaric and namely CHAUVENISTIC shackling.
The best part is how she finishes that statement with RAPE WITHIN MARRIAGE being outlawed in Australia. Here we don’t only get the image of this man possessing this woman, we also get the inference that she is being raped within her own marriage. If you read this article, you may have noticed how the woman doesn’t sound too distressed, yes it’s a marital problem, but if I got raped I certainly wouldn’t be writing to the lifestyle section about it  . . .

You see this kind of relationship used to work, when men went out and did their thang during the day, came home and the lady would have dinner cooked and whatever. Eventually though, this wasn’t enough for women and the world saw the advent of feminism, a so called equal rights movement that demanded exactly that for women. Now when a man vents some anger at his own shortcomings in the form of yelling at his wife, it’s called abuse.

“Far from being a bad wife, you have erred on the side of being too patient and submissive. He has failed to love, honour and cherish his wife.”

Not only do we not know anything about this wife, except that she has been subjected to some yelling from her husband, but we also do not know anything about the husband, only that he is partial to venting at his wife.
HE HAS FAILED TO LOVE, HONOUR AND CHERISH HIS WIFE. Not only has this poor, poor soul been subjected to some Guantanamo type shit, but she has also erred on the side of being TOO GOOD a wife. Yup, it’s all there, read the article folks.

“He should have been made aware of the effects of his bullying from the very start. Now, even if you are as rich as Croesus, you do not have a loving relationship in which to enjoy the fruits of your labours.”

This bully needs to be put in his place Casey Heynes style, lady. What you need to do is go home and bodyslam your hubby, that’ll learn him for yelling. In fact, just body slam everyone who yells, and the world will be a better place. Sorry sports fans, you’re bullies and you must be dealt with.
Now, even if you are as rich as Croseus- wait what? CROSEUS? Dayummmm this bitch must be like, a doctor or some shit right? One flimsy reference to Greek history? The very next thing this genius writes will be gospel, trust me, this chick is next level, too smart for us mere mortals. 

The wife does not have a loving relationship in which to enjoy the fruits of her labours. 

Lady, your husband is just a criminal, and that’s that. Those three houses you renovated? ALL YOU BABY. Whatchu talkin bout husband? He ain’t contributed SHIIIIET to them houses, they belongs to you sista. Those houses are the fruits of YOUR labour, and your loud husband just won’t let you enjoy them.

Let me play the role of Judge for a second:
Judge: you stand accused of being a bad husband, how do you plead?
Man: not guilty
Judge: you married this woman 18 years ago, and since then have (to the best of our knowledge) stayed faithful, played a part in the renovation of 3 houses and other such ‘wealth creation’ exercises, and you STILL want to have sex with your wife? After you yelled at her? You sir, are what society calls a “piece of shit”. Who are you to want sex from your wife? We have a word for that these days too, it’s called RAPE.
I know we don’t have capital punishment in Australia, but I’m recommending you for extradition to Texas, so you can await a fate truly befitting swine like yourself; death.

That’s not even the end, you see children, this is where it gets good.

“If your marriage does not survive, it will not be because you failed as a wife. Rather, you will have succeeded in standing up for your right to be treated with dignity and respect. The failure will be his if he cannot accept that.”

If you end up getting divorced, you can take solace in the fact that Maureen Matthews, a sex educator, speaker and founder of the ‘online female sensuality business’ bliss4women, have outlined allllllllll the reasons why he is wrong, and you are right. The very best part of this article is how this unbelievably stupid woman has brought up the idea of divorce when it was never EVER mentioned even one time by the lady with the problem. Correct me if I’m wrong, but did the question contain anything that would even suggest divorce as an option?
If your marriage does not survive your husband yelling, it won’t be because you failed as a wife. Rather you will have succeeded in standing up for your right to be treated with an inside voice at all times. The failure will be his if he cannot accept that yelling = divorce.

The sad part is that there are so many more things wrong with this article that I can’t even begin to address, because after all, who wants to read something more than 3 pages long?

It should also be noted that ‘online female sensuality business’ actually translates to sex shop. Click the link in the original article and see where it redirects to. Funny how female sensuality business is OK, but men using pornography? STAY AWAY FROM MY CHILDREN YOU SICKO.

 The next one will be shorter,

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

St. Patty's day jerseys in the NBA

What is this chicago? Contesting Boston for the top spot in the East isn't good enough? You gotta steal Boston's colours too? Something you people will learn about me is that I'm a diehard beantown fan, and with my boy dlx getting himself into the world of basketball, what better time to start talking NBA?

Sunday, March 13, 2011

This is how we chill from the first post til . . .

Well it's our very first post and there's probably no one reading, so we may as well be real. This blog is pretty much dedicated to the sprawling mess that is now known as society, and all of its shortcomings. We here at the stash box like to think we have a keen eye for that sort of stuff, and do so enjoy tearing it to shreds for your enlightenment. The good people here that like to smash box also have other interests, and there's a good chance you'll get a whole bunch of that shit too.
For future reference, half stepping round these here parts makes you liable for a good whipping, so before you venture forth maybe you should ask yourself, "Am I a halfstepper?". If the answer is anything other than "hell no", it might be your time to leave, address all complaints to

 Helyetica and dlx